“All I want for Christmas is my two front teeth” by Spike Jones and his City Slickers, back in 1944 is all well and good, but for the dental profession, all we want to do for our patients is to help you keep not only your two front teeth happy and healthy over the Christmas period but all of them!!
I hold my hands up now as to being the worst offender for tearing tape off the roll like a demon possessed, with those forever immortalised in a cheesy song about anterior incisors (as they are known in the business). Add to that ripping off plastic tags from clothes, hacking into Barbie doll packaging etc , because I can’t be bothered to haul myself off the floor, navigate the Christmas day assault course which includes paper, boxes and possibly a cat who I will not be aware of until I stand on him, to walk the 3 steps to the dresser drawer for a pair of scissors!
So far, I’ve been very VERY lucky having not experienced any breakages whatsoever whilst using my teeth in such a way, but I know that my days are numbered….quite possibly just by writing the aforementioned. I have now jinxed myself and will end up looking like a pirate with a missing front tooth in all of my Christmas pictures!!
If you have any fillings, crowns or bridges please please PLEEEEEEEASE walk those 3 steps to the dresser for the scissors….. Also whatever you have read or seen on the internet your teeth are not designed to withstand the force required to remove metal tops from beer bottles or screw tops from wine or spirits!! Sorry to be bah humbug but also avoid drinking straight from a bottle. All it takes is a rogue low flying elbow from Great Aunt Mildred after a couple of sherries, knocking the bottom of the bottle and that’s your two front teeth as you knew them pretty much lost forever!! Perhaps submit an early request for 5p’s not to be snuck into the Christmas pud; cracking down on one of these lurking in the brandy butter does not bode well at all for the molars!!!
No more of this doom and gloom. May I wish you all a very Merry and Happy Christmas and a Healthy and Prosperous New Year…